Cinderella, dressed in yella,
went upstairs to kiss her fella,
made a mistake and kissed a snake.
How many doctors did it take?
One, two, three, four,
Come on, pass the ball.
five, six, seven, eight.
Angie, go to your spot.
Higher!
Let's get the rhythm of the stomp, stomp, stomp.
Cinderella, dressed in yella,
went upstairs to kiss her fella,
made a mistake and kissed a snake.
How many doctors did it take?
One, two, three, four,
five... six...
seven... eight...
nine... ten...
11... 12...
13... 14... 15...
16... 17.
OK, come on.
Cinderella, dressed in yella,
went upstairs to kiss her...
Hi.
What do you want, doofus?
Hey! Hey!
Hey! Hey! What're you doin'?
Loser! Loser! Loser! Loser! Lo...
Edna Million in a drop-dead suit
Dutch Pink on a downtown train
Two-dollar pistol but the gun won't shoot
I'm in the corner in the pourin' rain
Sixteen men on a dead man's chest
And I been drinkin' from a broken cup
Two pairs of pants and a mohair vest
I'm full of bourbon I can't stand up
Hey, little bird Fly away home
Your house is on fire Children are gone
- "Hey, little bird " - No, in those days,
you wanted a piece of quim, you knew where to go.
You left your wife at home. You... You hit the spots.
You'd run with a big noise guy... you know, a cake eater.
Before you could say beef bayonet, you got a bangtail on your arm...
Sweet as Dutch cheese.
Now you got your fuckin' AIDS.
You got your raised feminist consciousness,
whatever the fuck that means.
Then you got your movements... a move- ment for this, a movement for that.
You got too many movements, ya ask me.
The only good movement is a fuckin' bowel movement.
Hey!
Look who's here! Jimmy the Saint!
- Hit and run, Malt. - All right.
- What's the word, Jimmy? - What's goin' on, Joe?
You heard about this thing, that fuckin' Bernard?
No, what happened?
I knew the kid was lunchy, but not this fuckin' lunchy.
They picked him up at a schoolyard fishin' for saplings.
- No shit. - They oughta neuter that fuckin' kid.
It's a brain thing, Joe, with Bernard, not a balls thing.
Aw, give it a name. Come on. Anything you can say is a problem with a man.
It's a balls thing.
- Hey. - Boat drinks.
Boat drinks.
Jimmy the Saint from Flatbush.
Went to seminary school but lost the calling.
But in his day, the bitch's bastard.
Turn the corner, fool is what she said
A hundred dollars makes the talkin' said
Edna Million in a drop-dead suit
Dutch Pink on a downtown train
Two-dollar pistol but the gun won't shoot
I'm in the corner on the floor
Because after you've gone,
your money goes to somebody else,
another man comes along and marries your wife.
Your kids fall in love with strangers.
But if you've been good, if you've been decent,
how you are remembered cannot be sullied,
cannot be changed.
Very... Very nice, Mr. Jergen.
Um, Barry, could you...
- Um, some water. - Sure.
- We're doin' great. - There you go.
Why don't we take a little break, and we'll continue later?
All right.
- Two-six-eight... - Easy. Easy, now.
Good afternoon.
Julie, call and check on that...
Here we have Mr. Jergen. He's doing his taping.
Now, my associate Randall Cuffland, who just went by,
he follows a very carefully composed list of questions
which he poses to Mr. Jergen...
And which Mr. Jergen's loved ones will be able to access once he's gone.
You understand?
I'd like to introduce you to somebody.
Here, this way.
This is Stevie.
Stevie's father passed away, pancreatic cancer,
at a time in late adolescence when Stevie needed him the most.
So now Stevie needs advice from his father, he comes back to see us.
- Understand? Let me show you. - Right.
Hey, what's goin' on, Stevie?
Hey, Jimmy. How are ya?
Uh, girls. I don't know.
This is, uh...
Hey, if you chase a dog, it runs.
Treat 'em like shit. That's what I did to your mother, and she fell for me.
Two months later, we were married.
You treat 'em like dirt and they come running.
- Thank you. - Thanks.
Uh, your father suffers from... What was it?
- Uh, diabetes. - Ah, yes, diabetes.
But his condition has taken a severe turn for the worst.
Time is of the essence.
- Yes. Thanks. - Thank you.
- Does he have any grandchildren yet? - Uh, eight, all together.
Ah, I see. I'm sure they'll benefit from a patriarch's advice...
Maybe not now, maybe not tomorrow, but someday soon.
- Good afternoon, Mr. Jergen. - Yeah. Hi.
- Happy man. - Thank you.
Take our brochure.
One for you. One for you. And please, uh, give one to a friend.
Thank you.
On your way out, there's a ledger there.
- Please sign it. It's our mailing list. - Thank you.
Thank you very much.
- Any luck? - Nope.
He seemed into it,
but she looked like she was gonna launch lunch over Mr. Jergen.
- We'll get the next one, Jimmy. - Right.
Uh...
- Happy hour at 6:00. I'll see you then. - OK.
My baby's a superstar
She's in a class by herself
I said my, my baby's a superstar
She's in a class by herself
You don't think if love mean anything else better
You got to have it Got to have it for himself
Just picked it up for the newspaper ad.
"Just because they're gone doesn't mean they can't guide"?
- Who came up with that? - I did.
- It's terrible. - Why?
- It's clunky. - Clunky?
- It's fucking clunky, Cuff. - What's clunky?
What do you know about clunky?
I know about clunky, and that's fuckin' clunky.
I thought you people were supposed to be good at this kind of shit.
"You people"?
Yes, you people. Homosexuals. You're not a homosexual now?
- "You people"? - You people.
Every fag in the world is good at this kind of shit,
and I gotta wind up with one that's clunky?
OK, Jimmy. Well, the video leasing company called "you people" today,
and they said if they don't have a check by the end of the week,
they're gonna come and take all the equipment.
Said that woman
Man, she's such a dream, ah
I said that woman
She's like something you've never seen, ah
Jimmy.
So what do we do?
Jimmy?
I don't know, Cuff. Maybe we should let Julie go.
It's not like the phone actually rings or anything.
Or maybe we could dip into your boat fund.
I mean, you're never really gonna buy a boat. We live in Denver, Jimmy.
Who has a boat in Denver?
Good-bye.
Hi.
Dagney? That's your name? Tremendous name.
My name is Jimmy, and I just have one simple, impulsive question:
- Are you in love? - What?
- At the present time, are you in love? - Why?
Because if you are, then I won't waste your time.
I mean, I'm not the type of man to impede another man's happiness.
However, if you're not presently in love,
then I will continue my rhapsody, because if I may so, Dagney,
you are most definitely the bee's knees.
Does this rap ever work?
Alas, in the old days. Uh, now I rarely get a chance to try it.
But you haven't answered my question.
- I forgot it. - Are you in love?
- Well, there is someone. - But?
We date. I have memorized his phone number, but I won't use his toothbrush.
We're somewhere in between, and he's crazy about me.
As he should be. You glide.
I glide?
You glide. It's a very attractive quality.
Most girls, they merely plod along. You, on the other hand, you glide.
Tell me about it. What's his name? Chip?
- Alex. - Same thing. Does he... make you thump?
Define "thump."
Thump. When you think about him, you can't eat, you can't sleep.
When he smiles, you forget about man's inhumanity to man.
Does he do that for you?
That's a ridiculous concept. No one can do that.
Girls who glide need guys who make them thump.
"Girls who glide need guys who make 'em thump."
- Have dinner with me. - Aren't we the sultan of segue?
It's a beautiful month. Just have dinner with me.
Are you gonna make me thump?
Or die trying. Dinner.
Just dinner.
- I'm gonna regret this. - Only if we're lucky.
I took a peek through my window
- "And what'd you think I seen " - Right here.
My baby settin' beside another...
- See ya, Jack. - I'll see ya.
- Oh, my... my lucky fuckin' day. What? - Hey.
- Jimmy the Saint. - Hello, boys.
- That's a nice suit. Versace? - No.
- Armani? - No.
Hugo Boss?
- What's with this? - Ellie's P.O. said he needed a hobby.
- Fashion is his hobby? - He tried makin' his own pasta.
Didn't move him.
A three-button ventless. I like that, Jimmy. Classy.
'Course, uh, you gotta have the build for it.
- What's up? - He wants to see you, Jim.
- Aw, come on. What for? - Hey, what can I tell ya?
He says, "Gus, I wanna see Jimmy the Saint."
I said, "Boss, Jimmy the Saint ain't mixin' it up no more."
He says, "Gus, I wanna see Jimmy the Saint."
Here we are.
The point of me arguing seemed, uh, specious.
Gus is readin' the dictionary.
Good.
- When does he want to see me? - Now.
- Now? - Anon.
You know the dance.
It's been a long time, huh, Jimmy?
Long time, Jimmy. You don't come around.
Been busy. Workin' hard.
Right.
Citizen now.
Legitimate businessman.
I heard about your endeavor,
some kind of support group thing for dying fags or something.
Something.
I spend all my time with these two fuckin' morons...
And my village idiot son.
I miss my wife, Jimmy.
You remember Cynthia?
Beautiful lady. Special.
Thank God she never had to see me like this.
Look at you. You got a lady?
- No. - That's 'cause you're hangin' around...
With the virus breeders, Jimmy: V.B.s.
You into that yet? Bitin' the pillow?
- No. - You will.
It's a liberal thing. One day you're saving the rain forest,
the next you're chugging cock.
- Am I wrong? - Talk to me, will ya?
I want peace.
I'm ass-fixed to this chair. I'm tired.
I'm old.
I shit in a bag. I piss in another.
I got a nurse.
Call the nurse.
Hello, Melanie. Nod to my friend Jimmy.
- Hello. - How are you?
Excuse us.
She's a ten.
Jimmy, she's a planet unto herself.
She can't nurse worth shit, but I keep her on 'cause...
Although I can't feel it, I know I have erections in her presence.
- You understand? - I understand.
Good. Then you'll understand when I say this.
Bernard, my son, he's all that's left of my Cynthia,
and he's crazy as a shithouse rat.
The other day they catch him...
In the elementary school playground...
Grabbin' itty-bitty titty.
It was a mess.
And the thing is, I understand the problem.
Bernard's problem...
Do you remember Meg?
- Yeah. - Meg was...
Bernard's high-school sweetheart, you know.
They kept it up through college.
We thought they was gonna get hitched.
Until she met this beat Bruce.
Studying to be an orthodontist.
She busted up with Bernard and moved to L. A. With this beat Bruce.
Bernard's never been the same.
I understand part of this was inevitable.
Being the son of me, he lacks initiative.
Since this Meg thing, his behavior is... worse.
Don't hurt me, man. Oh, f... Oh! Oww!
And now,
this thing in the schoolyard, uh, is a fiasco.
My intelligence tells me...
This beat Bruce is comin' to Denver.
Meet Meg's folks, ask their permission to marry the little bangtail.
This can't happen.
Meg loved Bernard for seven years.
She can learn to love him again.
What do you want done?
It's just an action. It's not a piece of work.
Catch the creep out on the highway...
Before he gets to Meg's, brace him.
Make it so's he'd sooner fuck the Fryolater than propose to Meg.
Why me?
Jimmy, you got the nice suit, you got the $70 haircut,
but you are taking a dump in your video business.
I gotta call in the note.
What do you mean you gotta call in the note?
I didn't take the note off of you.
- I took it off of New Orleans Sal. - Took it off New Orleans Sal?
Who do you think New Orleans Sal took it off of?
Mmm, you ain't no entrepreneur, Jimmy.
OK. I need a crew.
- Maybe four. - I worship you.
I'm payin' 50 Gs straight out. It's just an action.
Split it any way you want.
You wanna throw those pathetic yuks some scratch,
I applaud your... sensitivity.
For Cynthia, do it.
For Cynthia...
May she rest in peace... do it!
For the old days,
do it.
For your fag business, just do it.
Hey. Here's Ellie. Brought you some seltzer.
Come back!
Aye! Got ya! Arrghh! Got you too!
Oh, ya bloody son of the sea.
Arrghh!
You can't catch me!
Oh, shit.
Things are different now, Slick.
I mean, we're dug in here,
and I'm managing the park now.
I do a few odd jobs, make a little money.
I got free rent, got a good situation here.
I understand. A one-shot deal. We're in, we're out.
Give it a name. If it's so easy, why do you need a crew?
Safety in numbers.
Plus the man wants to pay the freight.
- Who am I to argue? - I don't know, Jimmy.
I mean, I got more than myself to think about now.
I understand.
I got Dodie. She's pregnant again.
You oughta put a harness on that tool there.
Yeah, give it a name. Anyway, I got her and the kids now.
I know. They're cute kids, man.
My last bit, man, locked down,
this is all I thought about.
Ten large.
Your call. It's not my call.
Ten large there.
Come on. Let's go say hello to Dodie, huh?
When I reach that promised land
- Hey. How ya doin', baby? Come here. - Where you been?
- Remember Jimmy the Saint? - Hello, Dodie.
- Jimmy, want a Coke or something? - Sure.
Brother, by and by
By and by When I walk down the lonesome valley
That adjoins the lonesome sky
- "Now I know my baby's waiting " - How are you, Dodie?
By and by Brother, by and by
By and by
When I walk down the lonesome valley
Let me ask you something, Jimmy.
You gonna go through with this thing no matter what?
I got to. He's got me on the dangle.
By and by
Can't believe that Pieces, of all people,
is workin' in this fuckin' joint.
- Hello, Jimmy. What's up? - You.
You stake me for a cup of coffee, baby?
Fuck off, cheese breath.
Look at you, filthy fucking Franchise. You're still alive.
Thought you were doin' a stretch in County.
I escaped 'cause I was missin' your nasty little pussy, baby.
Shut up. Hook me up. Come on, Jimmy, five bucks.
Give me five bucks and I'll pay you back tomorrow, man.
What's the matter, baby? Your spread ain't sellin'...
On account of you ain't takin' care of the merchandise anymore?
- Hey, fuck you, Franchise. - No, thanks.
Jimmy knows I'm sweet on him, don't you, Jimmy?
That's my boy.
- Clean? - Always.
- Right. - That's my man.
Ooh! Me and Jimmy, one day we's gonna have us a love child.
- Whatever. - Ain't that right, Jimmy?
- Right. - Hmm. Hey.
I gotta be goin'.
The pussy posse's been rollin' this neighborhood bustin' everybody.
Thanks for the money, baby.
Better stay clean.
- She don't look good, Slick. - No.
Needle track city, man. You shouldn't go contributing to her collapse, man.
Give it a name. Lucinda'll be dancin' in the breeze...
Long after you and I are takin' the dirt nap.
- Don't touch anything in here. - Whatever.
I'm ready.
You still got that disease, Pieces?
Cut the shit with that!
It's Olden. My name is Olden.
Always with this "Pieces" shit. Have a little respect.
Whatever, man, I'm sorry. Didn't mean nothin' by it.
Did they find out what it is yet?
Naw. In fact, I lost a toe the other day.
Believe that shit? A toe?
I found a croaker downtown diagnosed it as a circulatory problem,
a fuckin' circulatory problem.
I want to kill the bastard, but I can't get my fuckin' fingers around his...
- Ahh. - Ow. This is a bad beat, Olden.
Aw, give it a name.
You do your time.
You make an oath to go right and rigid,
and this is how you end up,
watching a bunch of raincoat types kick their gongs around...
And losin' motherfuckin' toes.
The Man... mentioned me in particular?
Yes, he did.
- I haven't seen him in years. - He likes you.
- Me? - Oh, you're so hard.
- So? Are you in? - Absolutely, Jim.
I'll use the dough to get me a legit croaker,
diagnose my malady on the up-and-up before I lose my dick.
We got a skull session tomorrow at the Thick 'n' Rich. Can you make it?
Aw, sh...
I'm already there, baby.
- See ya. - All right.
You're breakin' my heart here, ol' Franny.
Good to see you, Olden.
I'm coming. I'm...
But that train keeps a-rollin'
On down to San Antone
"When I was just a baby "
My mama told me Son
Always be a good boy Don't ever play with guns
But I shot a man in Reno
Just to watch him die
When I hear that whistle blowin'
I hang my head and cry
"Yeah "
Critical Bill, man, what the fuck are you doin'?
Workin' out. Don't bother him much.
What's the matter with you, man?
Why don't you show some respect for the dead?
I knew this guy when he was alive. He was a mammy rammer.
He don't mind much.
Old Man Carlotti know you're doin' this?
Oh, he don't mind much.
Bill,
uh, we're doin' an action for the Man With The Plan.
Small time, one night's work. It's good for ten large. You want in?
- Ten large? - Yeah.
Yeah.
OK. I guess.
Good.
Critical Bill, you still crazy, man?
'Cause you still crazy, I say you stay here
and you beat up on all your old friends,
'cause we don't need you, Bill, if you're crazy.
I am what I am:
Back of beyond, right?
Same as always. I'm in the back of beyond.
- Whatever. - "And I'd let that lonesome whistle "
Blow my blues away
- "Yeah " - They call him Critical Bill...
Because he never went up against a guy. Bill didn't put...
The guy in a critical condition at the very least.
But in the days, there never was a better wing man when things got dange.
Boy's got equal parts piss, pesticide...
And pure petroleum jelly runnin' through those veins.
All right, the kid's comin' in at approximately 10:00 p.m. on Highway 70.
Olden's gonna get us some uniforms, and we already got a car.
Olden and me are gonna pull the kid over.
Bill, you're gonna be with Jimmy in the moving van.
Bring the kid there, we scare him and that's it.
It is what it is. Bottom line, we're playing cupid...
To an overweight, silver-spooned, simpleton, child-molesting fuck.
That's what it is, but it's good for ten each. Nobody gets hurt.
Give it a name. Anybody got any questions?
Ya got somebody to keep the beat?
Funny you should mention that.
Everybody knows Easy Wind.
Look at this. Look at this!
All the pig brothers from back in the day.
- Jimmy the Saint. - Easy does it.
Big bad Franchise.
Easy Wind, my brother from another mother.
Pieces Polymeros.
Yeah.
Hey, man, nobody told me about this booyah, man.
And nobody told me I'd be humpin' with no inky-dink.
- All right, easy. Settle down. - No, Jimmy, I can't roll with this.
- No fuckin' way! - Hey, watch your mouth!
You boys used to be close.
Yeah, 'til we ended up in jail together.
Homeboy turned out to be a major-league fecal freak.
What?
Easy Wind spent his time in the joint raping kids.
- Better than being a fecal freak. - What?
Fecal freak! A brown boy!
- A fuckin' dookey taster! - Jive-ass nigger-boy shine!
Who the fuck do you think you are?
You son-of-a-bitch!
Sit down, Bill! Sit down!
- Sit down! Sit down! - Sit down, man!
Children here, man! There are children here.
Sit down! Get down! We're in a goddamn malt shop.
Sorry, Malt.
Sit down.
It's OK, kids.
Part of the show.
Nice.
Real nice.
Fuckin' shit eater.
Hey! Now settle down!
Motherfucker!
- Come on, come on, come on! - Old friends gettin' together.
Watch out, Bill!
Kind of brings a tear to the eye, don't it, fellas?
It's OK, kids.
- See ya around, Slick. Stay cool, Bill. - OK.
- What's up? - Jimmy,
you know, uh, when we go out there, you know, on the highway...
And we brace that kid?
I k... I would... I would really like to be one...
I would like to be one of the cops, Jimmy.
No, Bill.
Jimmy. Damn it, Jimmy, I'm 41 fuckin' years old...
And they still call me Critical Bill, you know?
I have really changed, man. How do you think that makes me feel?
Billy. You're beating up on corpses, Bill.
Well, that's the point, Jimmy. That's the thing, man.
Doin' that with them – with them bodies, I mean, that keeps my powder dry.
Billy.
It keeps my powder dry. It keeps my powder dry, Jimmy.
Listen to me. I haven't touched a live person in years,
not since I started that exercise program.
You know? I mean, the prison shrinks told me...
I should find myself a healthy and creative outlet and I found it.
Billy, I remember the things in the days. No.
Well, what do you mean, a person can't change?
I mean, word is on the street that you changed in a big way.
- How come nobody else can change... - What happened inside, Bill?
Please, Jimmy. Please let me.
Come on, man. Just once.
Olden does all the talking.
- OK, get out of here. Come on. - Thank you, Jimmy.
- Yeah, OK. Let's go. - OK. All right. Thank you, Jimmy.
All right. Don't be late.
Thank you, Jimmy.
Why do you teach at Vail?
The clientele at Vail has more money,
so you make great tips on private lessons.
I'm sure you're a fabulous skier.
- I get down the mountain. - I'm sure you do.
I've never skied before in my life.
The only skis in my neighborhood were the Polish couple down the hall.
Jimmy.
Jimmy "Lo Santo" Tosnia. Giovanni, vieni 'ca.
Where you been? You don't come around no more? You find a better joint?
I've been a homebody, Sal.
Dagney, Salvatori D'Amagli.
Piacere, bella.
- Watch it. - Scusi.
For the return of Jimmy the Saint...
And for the angel who brought him back to us.
Grazie.
I'm gettin' some pretty heavy Lady and the Tramp vibes.
I'll translate.
"Look at the sea. How beautiful."
"it inspires such feeling."
"Someone you're thinking about."
I don't know what that means.
"You say you're leaving."
"Far away from my heart."
"From our land of love."
"You have my heart, but you won't return."
- Thank you. - You're welcome.
You didn't buy it, huh?
No, I didn't.
- The maitre d', Sally? - Yes.
- He called you Jimmy the Saint. - Ah, yes.
- Well, how come? - 'Cause I say 11 "Our Fathers"...
And a "Hail Mary, Full of Grace" every time I go to bed...
And I never kiss on the first date.
- Really? - Sad, but true.
Do you wanna come in?
More than I want the ascot to come back into style, but not tonight.
Rules are rules.
You know, I could look at you here forever.
I wouldn't have to do anything else, just stand and look at you.
You're a thing to be amazed by.
Good night.
'Night.
Hi.
On the way out, I happened to notice the time.
It's now 12:04, so... a new day.
- So, technically... - This is now our second date.
Rules are rules.
Yes.
The beginnings are always the best.
When you first start to explore each other, to learn.
- I'll call you later. - When you watch the phone...
Like it was the TV, waiting for it to ring.
Oh, the insanity, that...
Heartsick insanity.
It always fades eventually, but God, while it's happening,
there's nothing like it in the world.
First you leave me, Then
You say you want me back
Talk to me, big man.
The big man is gettin' older on the shoulder.
Just hang tough.
Enjoy the scenery. It won't be long.
Yeah, what fuckin' scenery?
There's nothin' but cowshit and fruit flies out here.
Then I'd advise you to keep your mouth shut.
Why did I ever ever say good-bye
I'm gonna crawl right off and die
Where is this asshole?
I may never be a king
May never be a millionaire
So, baby, I don't care
You know what to do We're there
- Shit. - "This is my... "
Sh...
The orthodontist has landed.
Here we go.
OK, fellas. Just stay cool.
Get him in that cruiser, bring him down here...
And we'll get this done, then I'm buying at the Thick.
Nice.
Aw, shit.
You don't say dick, all right? Not dick.
My lips are locked.
The key is in the river.
What to do We're there
Yeah
- License and registration. - What was I doing wrong?
License and registration.
You wanna step from the vehicle, son?
- Why? - Just step from the vehicle.
Can I see some l.D., please?
- Now, son... - Look, I know my rights, OK?
I've heard about guys impersonatin' cops, shakin' people down.
I'm from L.A., OK? I know about that thing. I know my rights.
Let me see some l.D.
That's, uh... That's not the way we do things here.
I don't like the way your uniforms fit.
You oughta take that bass out of your voice right now, boy.
I got this under control here.
Son, we need some cooperation.
You know, maybe I'm just a complete asshole,
but doesn't the highway fall under the jurisdiction of the State Police?
It does, doesn't it?
What are a couple of Denver City Police Department guys doing way out here?
It's early yet.
I got a bad feeling, Jimmy.
How's it looking, big man?
Havin' a little chat. Looking good.
Hey, what's your badge number?
Come on, fella.
Just... Just be easy about this.
'Cause it seems to me on a night like this...
And again, it's really just one guy talking...
But you guys would have department-issued raincoats.
You know, plastic hat guards, that kind of thing. What's the matter?
- Couldn't steal those? - We're cops.
- You're cops. - Listen, kid...
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. God, time out. Bro, what is up with your fingers, man?
Carpentry accident. What's that got to do with anything?
Carpentry accident? OK, so tell me, Officer Leper, how are things down at...
You wanna see some l.D.? I'll give you some fuckin' l.D.!
- Billy! Jeez! Jesus! - Fuckin' l.D.!
- Stop it, Billy! - I ain't a cop! I ain't a cop, am I?
The kid's out of the van.
- Stop! - I'll make you fuckin' believe me!
- Billy! Billy! - Goddamn right, I will!
- Come on! Hey, Billy! Easy! Easy! - Do ya?
- Do ya, boy? Huh? - Billy, come on. OK, buddy. It's OK.
It's OK. Let's... Let's go.
Let's go! Stop it!
You fuckin' fecal freak, don't fuckin' do it.
- Don't fuckin' do it. - Let's go! Let's go! Stop it! It's OK.
It's OK.
Let's go. Come on.
Let's... go.
Dumb fuckin' cracker.
- Put the knife down, damn it! - What the fuck is that?
Surprise, surprise. Billy tripped a fuckin' brain wire.
- Are you pointin' a fuckin' gun at me? - Drop the blade now!
Drop it! I'll shoot you. I will shoot you.
We got a thing here.
Brown boy looks like he wants to do a little roadside whittling.
- Shit! Fuck! I knew it! - Get over there, big man,
right now.
Fuck him! I don't fuckin' believe this!
Earl! Talk to me, Earl!
Fuck, man! We're fucked!
Stupid cunt.
Bill! Bilbo!
No!
What the fuck?
Don't tell me.
This is Meg.
Ohh.
They did it, J. They fucked it, man.
They fucked it all. They fucked it all, man.
They're dead. They're fuckin' dead.
I'm standin' here with dead bodies, J.!
And they're kids. They're fuckin' kids, man!
Two of 'em!
What the fuck did you do?
Now, how the hell did she go and sleep through this whole goddamn thing?
We gotta clean this shit up, man!
We gotta clean this shit up, man, now! Come on, Pieces!
The fuckin' booyah. The fuckin' brown boy!
He cut that kid's throat for no good goddamn reason!
Hey, he was a trash mouth! He called Pieces a leper!
We don't stand up for each other, we're gone.
That's why you fuckin' mud flaps are dyin' off,
'cause you don't stand up for each other!
- You crazy bitch! Shut the fuck up! - Come on, motherfucker!
- Fuck that! Fuck that! - Shut the fuck up!
- You crazy bitch. - Fucking bullshit!
Sorry, Boris.
You know how this works. The intended decedent goes on top here.
Your whacks go in the bottom.
The bereaved family never has a clue...
Their beloved is to spend eternity with a couple of hit vics.
- Putting one down tomorrow? - Thomas Donahue, the dry cleaner.
- Pulled a gun on me, didn't ya? - You're gonna be fuckin' dead!
The thing of it is, I don't see how it's our fault.
I mean, the Man's intelligence said she wasn't supposed to be in the van.
How the fuck are we supposed to know?
This whole thing's been bullshit from the start.
Talk about what's compelling.
- About, um, how one... - Fuck it.
Visit to the doctor's office can change your whole life.
You can be thinking about two million things...
About, uh, work or about the man you're dating...
Or your family or... the latest Kevin Costner picture and...
Then all of a sudden you feel a lump.
And you go to the doctor's and, uh,
in the course of a single office visit, everything changes.
You tell me there's a worse word in the English language than "malignant."
I don't think so. I really... I don't think so.
Hi, this is Dagney.
Leave me a message after the tone and I'll call you right back.
You remember Lieutenant Atwater, Jimmy?
Hello, Jimmy.
An action, not a piece of work. I said that.
- Did I not say that? - Sir, if I could just exp...
Don't "sir" me, Jim!
You gonna beg?
Well, get down on your knees in your pretty suit.
Beg. Grovel!
You asked me back in.
I'm taking you out.
So that's it. You're gonna send these two, and they're gonna...
Stab me in a crowded Italian restaurant, garrote me in my sleep?
Never.
Not these two, not that way.
We go back, me and you.
You lent the operation a modicum of class in the days.
That's why... the milk of human kindness...
I'm giving you... an out.
You got 48 hours.
Put it in the wind.
Leave Denver.
Go to Rome, visit the Vatican.
Pray to the God you abandoned back in Brooklyn.
Just put it in the fuckin' wind, Jim,
or else I gotta do you too.
- What about the others? - Buckwheats.
It wasn't their fault.
They were following my orders. I take full responsibility.
Lovely.
You're not a human being, you're a waltz.
Buckwheats, Jim,
to your miserable band of misfits.
Buck-fuckin'-wheats.
Jesus Chr...
I got it. Jesus.
Watch the curb.
Look at all them. That's a tribute.
Try as we may, death is not something we ever prepare for.
Check it out. Little Lord Homicide.
Especially not with someone we love.
Any word?
Here he comes.
I'm dyin' here, Jimmy.
Give it to us straight, Slick.
- Buckwheats. - What?
Buckwheats.
- Oh, my God. Wow. - He said that?
- That's what he said. Buckwheats. - This is...
Well, bagpipe that shit, man. Let's take his fuckin' ass out.
Will you shut the fuck up? This sick-ass got us in this shit in the first place.
It's impossible anyway. Ever since the Man With The Plan got shot,
the security around him has been insane.
- Easier to whack the fuckin' President. - What do we do?
Leave town. Go under. I'm talkin' to some people.
If you go under, you'll be safe.
That's buckwheats for all of us, Jimmy? Even you?
All of us, Franny. Even me.
Buckwheats is a whole other animal.
A guy orders a buckwheats hit, it just don't mean take the guy out,
it means take the guy out in the most painful way possible.
It means the vic should suffer.
Typical buckwheat hit is to shoot a guy up the ass.
Yeah, uh, ba-bing.
A slug up the ass, you don't die so much as...
Contort for a good 15 minutes, then you die.
I imagine it's like crappin' white-hot razor blades.
- Whew! - You know?
Oh. Hmm.
Ah.
Now, you wanna take care of business, you gotta do it in close.
I mean, you can't shit where you eat, hear what I'm saying?
I hear tell the Man With The Plan, he put it on front street.
He got a bit of business... called in a guy from El Paso, a Mr. Shush.
They call him Mr. Shush 'cause he don't say much, you know?
Can't even see his face. Won't say five words unless you beg him.
He's a turtle. Yeah, I would've called him that: a turtle.
Ow! Gee! Pay attention, will you?
Yeah, he's a turtle.
The most lethal contract killer west of the Mississippi.
Oh, they say he's clipped over 200 believers.
Now, come on!
What's up, bro? What do ya need?
What can I get for ya?
Fuck this, man.
Oh, shit!
Yes, sir, when Mr. Shush accepts your buckwheats paper,
it's time to kiss the day good-bye
and get real cozy with the notion of eternity.
You sure about this shit?
Yeah. I was by the Lazy Bird today.
Baby Sinister is most definitely with the program.
Baby Sinister hates my fucking guts.
He owes me, Earl. I called in a marker.
Plus the idea of gettin' the Man all crossed up appeals to him.
He's bug-fucking crazy, man. All the way live.
So is the Man With The Plan, Earl.
They're all bug-fucking crazy. How do you think they got to be big noises?
Kick back, relax Watch us spin the wax
We'll never let 'em blow 'round no tracks
- Baby inside? - Yeah.
OK, let me see him. I'm clean.
What's happenin', man? You all set?
OK. I owe you one.
'Cause there really ain't much to say
- "Except I got no... " - OK, we're cool. Let's go.
Come on.
Damn.
When your saviors look like those motherfuckers,
you know you done stepped in it one time too many.
Remember when you was a kid?
You'd spend the whole fuckin' year... waitin' for summer vacation,
then it'd finally come and just fly by just like that.
Mm-hmm.
It's funny, Jimmy.
Life has a way of passin' by faster than any old summer vacation.
It really fuckin' does.
Give me a squeeze, big man.
Give me some.
You're the man.
I can drive lines in twos and threes and fours